How to cultivate unshakable self-belief
Practically every single person I’ve ever interviewed; every personal growth book I’ve read and workshop I’ve been to - the most common piece of advice I always hear being given is to ‘believe in yourself’.
Believing in ourselves is the crucial foundational step in creating the life we’ve been dreaming about - giving us the freedom to create a business and a life we love, on our own terms.
Without first believing in ourselves and our own abilities - how can we ever expect to convince others we are capable?
On a surface level, this makes complete sense and every time I’ve heard it, I’ve always nodded my head in agreement without giving it a second thought.
But then begs the question - how do we exactly begin to cultivate this unshakable self-belief in the first place?
Is it something that some people naturally have within them, and others aren’t so fortunate?
I believe both instances are true.
When we’re born, we come into the world with a clean slate and unlimited potential. Throughout the course of our life we start learning how the world around us works, and in order for us to ‘fit in’ we begin to adjust our beliefs accordingly.
During our formative years we learn these beliefs from the people around us - our parents; school teachers; our peers and anyone else who has influenced our life in any meaningful way.
By the time we’ve reached adulthood, the lens with which we view the world through has been constructed by the environment, people and place that we’ve been exposed to….
It’s only when we start to realize that every person on the planet has a completely unique perspective of how they view the world - that we begin to understand that perhaps the beliefs we’ve grown up with, aren’t aligned with the future vision we have for our life.
During our formative years, it’s likely we fall somewhere on the spectrum between being conditioned to believe that our big dreams are possible and that we can achieve anything we set our minds to; or, being in an environment that has us believe we are limited by what we can achieve; deserve to achieve; and are even worthy of achieving.
As an adult, where we land on this spectrum largely defines our level of self-belief.
It’s only when we decide to challenge this worldview that we can shift our perspective and begin to rebuild ourselves and create a new story in alignment with our new belief system and what we deem to be true about ourselves and our potential.
The worldview I grew up with was a very limited one - my belief system dictated that success was following a very specific trajectory and well-trodden path.
Anything outside of this was deemed a fantasy and not available to me.
It’s taken me a looonnng time to re-write my story and realize the beliefs I grew up with; that shaped my worldview and what I thought was possible to achieve - were blatantly wrong.
The good new is, it’s completely possible to shift our belief system.
It comes down to reprogramming our mind and taking action in alignment with our new beliefs. When we do this, we build our self-confidence and as our confidence grows, we’re able to activate a new belief system where our wildest dreams are in fact 100% possible.
Today, I wanted to share five ways to start cultivating unshakable self-belief, so that you can go out, follow your bliss and make your big dreams a reality!
1. Get clear on your strengths.
Every single person on the planet has a set of gifts that are completely unique to us. It is our purpose to uncover what they are and use our gifts in a meaningful way that serves others.
When we focus on what we’re good at and the skills that come naturally to us, we’re able to show up being authentically ourselves and shine; which in turn, boosts our confidence and ultimately fueling our self-belief.
Start by asking:
What am I naturally good at?
What comes easily to me that I find myself gravitating towards when I have free time?
How can I use these skills in way that serves others?
2. Be mindful of your self-talk.
None of us are immune to that little voice in our head that wants to rain on our parade when we’re about to embark on something new, slightly terrifying, but completely awesome at the same time.
It is our job to become aware of that voice and not let it run the show!
Our inner critic; inner mean girl (or whatever you call it) wants to keep us safe and ends up making us playing small if we let it… And that’s not fun for anyone!
It’s estimated we have 70,000 thoughts running through our head on any given day and if we choose to give weight to that negative voice, we’re letting ourselves down, big time.
Do any of these sound familiar…?
Who am I to be successful?
There are already so many people doing , there’s no room for me to being doing this too.
It’s not possible to get paid for doing something I love.
I don’t have enough experience / qualifications … I will just wait until I do...
Next time you notice those negative thoughts -
Raise your awareness - when you notice them come up, choose not to entertain it and go down the negative spiral.
Replace your thought with an empowering affirmation - I can do this; I am doing this; I believe in myself and my ability to succeed.
Return to the present moment - our inner critic has us either worrying about some future event that hasn't even happened or replaying past events in our minds over and over again. When we raise our awareness and intentionally remain in the present moment, focusing our attention on what is happening here and now - we have the choice to fuel ourselves with positive thoughts, intentions and beliefs - all of which are supporting us reprogramming our mind for success.
3. Stay in your own lane - ditch comparison.
Comparison these days is hard to escape - just scrolling through our Instagram feed is often enough to make us feel less than and wonder why our lives don’t look as perfect.
But honestly, this is such a waste of time and energy.
I’m totally guilty of it myself, but every time I get sucked into going down this rabbit hole, I quickly (and lovingly) snap myself out of it, close down the app and put my phone away.
Let’s be real for a minute: Instagram is purely a highlight reel of people showing themselves in their best light and their best angle - it’s not real life.
I repeat - it is not real life.
While I agree that social media has offered us a lot of opportunities to build brands and create businesses, it’s a double edged sword that is having detrimental effects on our well-being and mental health.
If you find yourself being triggered by social media, then please be kind to yourself and take a step back. Spend time offline doing things that bring you joy - whether it’s spending time in nature; going to a yoga class or spending time with friends.
Just keep focusing on your own game and how you are showing up. Do whatever you need to do so you can keep showing up as your best self. And if that means taking a social media detox - do it.
4. Get outside your comfort zone - daily.
The only way we ever learn and grow is when we face our fears and do the things that scare us the most!
And when we do, we fuel ourselves with confidence that we are in fact capable of achieving anything we set our minds to.
The more we can practice getting out of our comfort zone, the easier it becomes to try new things; talk to new people; pitch new ideas; speak on stage and ask for the business.
When we can make a habit out of stretching ourselves out of our zone of comfort, we not only start making our epic vision a reality, we build an unshakable belief in ourselves because we have solid proof that we are freaking amazing.
Take a minute and consider -
Where have you been holding yourself back?
What’s the worst thing that could happen if you took action?
What’s the best thing that could happen?
Is it something you’ll end up regretting later if you don’t go for it?
5. Set big goals & crush them!
It’s all very well to set big goals, but the way to build unshakable self-belief is by taking action and crushing every single one of them!
This of course involves making a habit of stepping outside of our zone of comfort, but the more we keep taking those positive next steps and then start seeing the results, it only fuels us with more confidence that we’ve totally got this!
Let me know in the comments below - what is one area you can take action on today that can support you cultivating an unshakable belief in yourself?
You've totally got this!